I do that, I do thinking on Will's porch alot, cuz it just seems to make me do that. That and start conversations that usually go everywhere but where I expect them to go.
And this seems to be the difference between that fateful summer and this summer is instead of shutting down and pushing I push but then I pull back and I talk. I'm actually sort of proud of myself because I started writing Eric a note and then I told him about what I was going to write without even finishing the note.
Strength. Strength will make it better, not anything that other people can give or do for me. Strength to not be brought down when I am clearly the only one trying to and to not sponge the stress and unhappiness of those around me. Strength to not stress the small stuff and to soak in the happiness of the big stuff. Strength is what makes the little days great and the big days amazing.
I think my wings still exist. They may have gotten a little wet while I was feeling the rain on my skin but when I wasn't looking the sun dried them and I have to learn to use them again. Helps when I don't stretch them under the waterfalls.
I'm so confused by my life right now, by everything that changes so fast, but I'll be better exactly 3 weeks from today, on move in day...oh God, it's only three more weeks >.<
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