Seriously...how does one know if it's flirting or if it's more? What do you do when your heart dives in before your brain can tell it NO? What does it mean when he hugs you extra tight, and lets his hands wander, just a little bit? Is it time to put the confidence to the test? Do I have enough confidence to do so?
When I'm not overthinking it, he makes me act like ME. Like the person I am proud and happy to be...but as soon as my brain takes charge, I try to read it. Is that more than he does to the other girls? Did he let go before I did? Did he let go when I did? Why does he hang back to hold me one more time? Is that really more than a hug?
My heart can't decide...is it attraction? Is it physical? I'm not that attractive, but he is definitely a flirt...And most importantly, is he the kind of guy that would say something if there is interest or would he just...wander?
More so, how do I say something if I even say something? The girls would tear it apart. After all, he's a heartbreaker. It would never work in the long run. They just don't want me to get hurt...but what if?
I hate what if's. I hate not knowing, I hate assuming the worst and then clamping onto the best. Do I just guts it out and hope for something in between? Do I risk losing the cuddles and the extra long hugs and the movies with his hand just on my back? Do I want those if there isn't something more?
Well hello there brain, why yes that stream of consciousness was almost all questions, and no I don't have answers to any of them.
Krud...can you please not give me insomnia as revenge? Please?
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